Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Slip-slidin' away...

Does anyone besides me even remember that song? I haven't heard it in ages...

I mentioned it because I must admit that I feel like I'm sliding a bit. I think the funk from last week has hit a biochemical button or something, because the depression has really set in. I'm seeing Anna on Friday, so I'm on it, but I still feel like crap. I had really wanted to go to Jesse's funeral today, and I just couldn't make myself do it. Instead I got myself a bowl of cereal and sat in front of the computer. How's that for compassionate, eh?

I miss my kids. I worry about Annie, who is doing ok but she's so far away. I worry about Stephen, who hasn't quite figured out life yet, though keeping a job is a really good start. I worry a lot about Lydia, who seems to be too terrified of life to jump in. And I get sick just wondering how I would feel to lose any of them. And this of course is not a pleasant thought to have...

And I had a really bizarre dream about James last night- somehow I'd gone back in time, about 15 years. Except he was younger and I was as I am now. And it was one of those deals where you can't do anything to alter history or something will go *pop*. I had to keep to myself, which was... painful. Why is it that I'm always dreaming about *not having*? I don't get it.

I still have to get my new clothes done, so that is the plan for tomorrow. Hurrah for new clothes! And I still need to redo a hat. Hmm... how much orange can I get away with? :-D

2 comments:

Anne-Marie said...

Easter is this weekend, doncha know. That means Lent will be over soon! Life is looking up more than you know.

Lainie said...

And don't I know it! Sometime Sunday there will be a hot fudge sundae!

In the meantime, I'm not having much luck with the clothing department...