Sunday, August 30, 2009

A bit stressed here-

and there's people to choke but no one I dare lay hands on.

Ok, Wanda doesn't read this so I'll let a little of it out. She and Claire are not getting along. There's stuff on both sides, but Wanda is in the driver's seat. And it is getting ugly. And naturally I'm hearing it from both sides and I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS! I really don't! And the atmosphere here in the house is poisonous.

Wanda is under stress at work (NSTB stuff again) and I understand that colors her worldview. There's some other factors that I can't get into here. She's also grumpy that she isn't getting the attention that she thinks she deserves from SCA folk. Well, if she went to an event or a meeting once in awhile, I might say she has a point. Of course, on the rare occasion that she _does_ go to something, all she does is prattle on about the Good Old Days in Drachenwald. She's not done anything here to make Good Days, and I think that they are what you make. My Good Days are now- because I make them so. And I'm really tired of hearing how An Tir doesn't measure up.

So even Saturday breakfast or Sunday brunch have been a bit quiet- I try to talk about stuff that is happening and she isn't interested, except to criticize. A few weeks back several of us at the brunch table were busy talking about the upcoming elevation, and for once we didn't let her drag the conversation around to her. (There's been a lot of 'It's All About MEMEME!!!' going on lately.) She got really pissed off and actually sniffled all the way home. And I have to say, I honestly didn't feel like comforting her, because of the dozens of times that she's completely dominated the table and I can't get a word in edgewise.

I love Wanda, but she's been behaving like a spoiled brat for some time now, and I don't know what to do about it. If there is anything I can do about it. If I could leave, I would. And I can't. So I have to find some way of dealing with this. Something that does not involve violence, that is.


Am I completely whacked?

Getting near to being done with Randal's surcoat. I might have time to put together the Frankish coat I've planned. We'll see. In the meantime, I think it's more Marx Brothers and some loud rock music to get through.

Oh- forgot to add- stopped at Goodwill today and scored big time- I picked up two 8" Henckels knives for $1.99 EACH. Considering how awful the knives in my tourney kitchen are, this is a major improvement!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Revving up for next week...

... and I'm tired already...

Gotta finish Randal's surcoat, which is actually going well. Need to wash and press the sheeting for the bath tub, and for that matter, I need to get outside and clean the bathtub, too! Randal will be picking it up Thursday, along with the pre-dieu. And soonish (like in the next day or so) I need to figure out the menu for the weekend and start shopping. Looking at Italian recipes at the moment.

And Thursday I see the guys in the pulmonary dept. Still very nervous about that.

And I'm fighting off what feels to be an old-fashioned migraine, which I haven't had for awhile. Eyestrain, I think. I've had my face up too close to the sewing because I seem to be getting old and can't see what I'm doing.

Hmm. I bet you couldn't fit much tourney gear in that fancy car...

Monday, August 17, 2009


There are times in life when a lot is happening at once. And there are times when you have to wait.

This is both of those times.

Ok. So I am waiting to see the pulmonary clinic. This happens September 3rd. At 4 in the afternoon. Which tells me that they will not be doing any procedures that day, but just a consult and scheduling me for something else. And more waiting.

But it's not like I don't have anything to do to keep busy, because I do. This weekend is Sport of Kings. It starts Thursday. Today is Monday. I have shopping to do, a menu to plan, goodies to make (for the Laurel meeting), have to fix the hinges on the bed, the lid of the new box, paint the light fixture and get chains to hang it with... and pack. And go to the event. And run a meeting. And throw a feast. And visit with friends.

Next week there's the full press to get things done for Randal. I'm making his surcoat for the ceremony. I also need to scrounge through my stuff and find linen for his vigil robes. And I need to wash and press the linens for the bath, and scrub the tourney tub. Find all of the papers, pull out the pre-dieu, get the candles and statuary ready. And I need to plan a menu for 12 for the weekend, do all of the shopping, etc.

In the meantime, there's the whole thing with the health care debate. I've written the Senators/Rep/President 3 times in 2 weeks. I'm sure they're tired of hearing from me (or at least whoever reads the mail). And I'm watching everything like a hawk, because the Public Option is probably the only chance that I'll have in the forseeable future to get off of Medicaid. I'm not insurable- I have too many pre-existing conditions. And I'm on too many drugs. And for now, I'm broke. But the fact is, without the Public Option, I can't change my financial situation, because I'll lose my healthcare. And that could be catastrophic. The healthcare situation as is is forcing me to remain poverty-striken. This system is sick.

I have decided that I cannot read Huffington Post anymore. It's way too histrionic, tabloid-like (makes dKos look like the Wall Street Journal), and the comments are so full of trolls the bile leaks out through my screen. I get so angry and there's nothing to do with it- I can't hit the poor idiot on the screen. So I think I will just leave them alone. Let someone else tell them what idiots they are. HuffPo will survive without me.

And I'm eating a lot less all of the sudden. Not sure what to think about it. Lost a couple of pounds though, according to the dr's charts. Not bad. Also been writing- I think I may have found my way through the whole thing with Henry being sick. Worth a shot.

And Bill finished my ring! It is flat out GORGEOUS. The stone is from a pendant that I had that had been my great-grandma's. Lovely, square-cut white stone- Bill said he thinks it's a white sapphire. Set it in silver, with a basic copy of a 7th c Frankish design. :-) It's big, and kinda gaudy, but I love it. And if I ever have to punch someone, they're gonna regret it. :-D

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Not... to... Panic...

I called in and someone else had just made a cancellation, so I was able to get in today instead of next Thursday.

Well, I just got back from the doctor, and we discussed the report from the angiogram. They said that they saw a nodule on my lung, and two cysts on my liver. I'm scheduled to be in the Pulmonary clinic at 4 on Sept 3. (I won't be able to make the SLUG Queen Coronation this year because of it, and that really makes me mad.) They want to do a PET scan and/or a bronchioscopy. The latter sounds like a lot of Not Fun. And then we will go from there.

We still don't know what happened last week. I'm continuing to push the matter because that was an incredible amount of pain and I don't want it to happen again. So we will see.

And it appears that I have traded the anxiety of Not Knowing for a different kind of Not Knowing. It is no improvement.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Just another thing to worry about...

Ok, I'm not about to be eaten by a robot. That I know of. At the moment.

Well, we have as yet not figured out what happened to me last Monday. But they sent me in for a angiogram on Friday, which was very interesting. All the equipment, and of course you have no idea what it is actually doing. It's magic, as far as I'm concerned. And there's times that I think if I opened that door that says 'Authorized Personnel Only', I'd find a witch doctor in there, counting the twists in the entrails of a sheep...

At any rate, I got a call from my doctor's office today. They want me to come in and discuss the results of the angiogram. Which now has me in knots. It if was nonremarkable, they wouldn't bother. It's not an emergency, since they made me an appointment for next Thursday. But still, important enough that they want to talk to me about it.

On the day that I'm packing out for Sport of Kings. * sigh *

Nothing else much to report. Still sleeping a lot. Trying to get things together for Sport of Kings and Crown, including everything for Team Randal. It's not like I'm not trying to keep busy.

So what happens when a giant robot eats you, anyway?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Got to go for a ride

...In the truck with the flashy lights. It's not nearly as exciting as you'd think, because when you're that sick, you really don't care.

I'd started with a sharp pain in the upper left of my back about midnight. It got worse, and then wrapped around my ribs and into my chest. Couldn't sleep, was very painful to breathe. About 6:30 I called the advice nurse at my dr. She said "Please hang up and call 911." Wow, you sure? She was sure.

So I got a ride to the hospital. By the time I got there I could hardly see from the pain. When they rolled me off of the ambulance gurney onto the bed in ER I was screaming. And you know how when you're in Er getting stitches or whatever, and there's always someone down the hallway, howling? That was me. Especially when they were doing xrays. Moving- especially anything involving moving my ribcage- I kept hearing someone how sounded like a wounded dog. .And realized that was me. It was really weird.

After the xrays they shot me full of morphine. I was still in a lot of pain, but it was no longer the center of the universe. And they never did find out the source of the pain, but they did find a spot of pleural effusion that was apparently secondary to whatever was going on. So they sent me home with a Rx for vicodin and instructions to breath deeply (to clear up the effusion). Mostly I've been sleeping.

So that's what I've been up to the past few days. This kind of excitement I could do without.