Wednesday, March 28, 2012
These two little goofballs are coming home on April 1st!
In other news, Phil and Annie are flying out on the 5th, to make Mad Planz for the wedding in September. Much running around town and planning stuff, including dress fitting. Busy busy busy!
And on to the fun: the Spam Report!
-a 'loan offer' from email@example.com at 'Ascent Global Finance AGFi International'. (what domain is at 'vc'?)
- a notification of money to recompense scam victims, from firstname.lastname@example.org (_Mr_ Joan?), at the 'OBAMA FOUNDATION'. Really! From Obama! Of course I will send him my bank information! :-)
- a notification that I'm an 'email winner!', from email@example.com. It seems that my email was drawn at random for the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY PROMO. Riiiiight. A reply to firstname.lastname@example.org of course, with a bunch of my personal info...
- a duplicate of the UK lottery post. In case I deleted the first one, I suppose?
- a duplicate of the Obama Foundation post. The President is nothing if not persistent!
- from email@example.com, from a bank official in Nigeria who wants to give me $1.8 million dollars for my past efforts to assist him, if I'll contact his secretary at firstname.lastname@example.org, with my personal info, of course. It seems he has a new partner in India who is helping him out. Uh-huh...
- from Duke Gyan at email@example.com, with a reply email at firstname.lastname@example.org (Uraguay? This is a new one.) He is "a politician and a previous member of Ghana's executive committee on contract awards.
My purpose of connecting you is to crave your indulgence to assist me in securing some funds abroad for safe keeping which I incidentally kept to help me finance my senatorial elections campaign under the party umbrella of National Patriotic Party (NPP) this year December 2012". It seems he has some kickback funding from China and Malaysia that he wants to hide abroad, and is willing to cut me off a chuck of it if I'll help him. Would I please give him my bank info so he can make the deposit? Oh, but of course I'll help smuggle funding out of the country! It is what I live for!
On March 17:
- another loan offer from email@example.com.
- Whoa! The offer of a BMW from someone at firstname.lastname@example.org. From an email lottery that I've never heard of. They even offer a phone number to call and verify! Yes, I'll call +447024016394... wait, where is that? And do they really want to give me a BMW in exchange for a bunch of personal info?
- a Dr Raymond CH'IEN Kuo Fung at email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org) is a bank official- "There is the sum of $550,000.000.00 in my bank, there were no Beneficiaries stated concerning these funds which means no one would ever come forward to claim it and That is why I am asking that you be my partner and we work together as partners so as to have the sum transferred out of my bank into Your Account." Why, how generous of him! "Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred from my Bank to your Nominated Bank Account,We shall then share in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you." And he has a website where I can confirm this, at http://www.hangseng.com/e_about_us/board_of_directors.html Of course, he needs to know my personal info, as well as " Your Level Of Investment". Oddly, I don't think I'm interested in this offer...
- a MRS SUSAN ABDEL-HALIM at email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org) is a widow with cancer and no heirs. She has a substantial amount of money in a London bank, and " I want this muslim organisation or individual to use this money in all sincererity to fund mosques, orphanages,widows and also propagating the word of ALLAH and to ensure that the society upholds the views and beliefs of the holy Quran." She doesn't want the money to fall into the hands of her family, who are Christians, and she wants me to help her hide it overseas... Hmm... think I'll give it to the Diocese...
- a letter from Mr Dom May at email@example.com (return address:firstname.lastname@example.org) He has "funds total US$7.5 Million and you were made the beneficiary of these funds
by a benefactor whose details will be revealed to you after handing over the
funds to you in accordance with the Agreement I signed with thebenefactor when
he enlisted my assistance in delivering the funds to you." Funny, I don't remember discussing an inheritance with him.
- another note from Raymond CH'IEN Kuo Fung. Hmm. Must have slipped my mind.
- another note from Duke Gyan, who is apparently still unemployed.
- yet another note from Raymond CH'IEN Kuo Fung, who still wants to give me money.
- Wow! Mrs. Suha Tawil Arafat, the wife of Yasser Arafat, at email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org) She says that "Since the death of my husband I have been humiliated by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization. I have been subjected to physical torture." And of course there's secret money hidden abroad and she wants my help... and please to reply at email@example.com. Gee, she has a lot of email addresses. How does she keep up with all that spam?
- wow, loans at 3% from firstname.lastname@example.org! (return address at email@example.com) I've never heard of the J.M.C. Loan Finance Company. Have you?
- another loan offer from Ascent Global Finance AGFi International
- from firstname.lastname@example.org (return address: email@example.com) "The treasury directorate division of the UK Financial Monetary Service
Authority writes to inform you that we have credit advice documentary
evidence in your favor to authorize the release of
GBP3,500,000.00(Three Million Five hundred Thousand Pounds Only) to
you being an outstanding payment accrued interest on your
contract/inheritance payment." Hmm. why does HM Treasury London
1 Horse guards Road, London
SW1A 2HQ; London UK have a return address in Japan?
- a Miss Liza Wong (firstname.lastname@example.org) have an inheritance for me from a billionaire Business Mogul Late Mr. Moises Saba Masri, a Jew
from Mexico. Of course, this $8.5 "can be paid to your account.this transaction will be share 60/40 by both of us". Not a bad split, eh?
- from email@example.com, a Powerball Lottery with a return address of: firstname.lastname@example.org has an attachment for me to open to contact them for my claim. Right, accompanied by your virus...
- Oh no! Princess Fatima from Libya needs my help! Email email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org). She has US$7.1m left by her father, in a secret fund, and she needs my help transferring it... Gee, a Princess! She wants me to contact her at email@example.com, to her her get the money out of Ghana. I never knew that Ghana had such a thriving banking industry!
- and Google has an office in Lagos, Nigeria, email address firstname.lastname@example.org (return address: email@example.com). They have $500,000 dollars for me just for using Chrome! I received this on email I read using Thunderbird, and I'm currently typing this on Firefox...
- Well! A Yahoo! office in Bangkok (firstname.lastname@example.org, return address: email@example.com) has$1 millon dollar prize for me! My "fund is now deposited with our Bank/Security Bangkok Bank of Thailand and insured in your name. Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award from public notice until your claim has been processed". Fair enough. I just have to contact firstname.lastname@example.org to verify all of my information. Hmm. Why are all of the reply addresses in Hong Kong?
- Mr Raymond Kuo Fung , Executive Chairman, Hang Seng Bank wrote me from email@example.com, which showed up ion my http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifwindow as from lydia- which I'd thought was from my daughter. Well, he has $550,000.000.00 for me if I'll invest in his trust. Return address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Huh. Haven't I already gotten something from Hang Seng Bank? I seem to remember that the other offers were better.
- a personal memo from email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org). Someone who did not offer a name "won a Jackpot Lottery of 318 million dollars($318 million)
and have voluntarily decided to donate the sum of 159 million
dollars ($159 million) last year to 100 people as part of a charity
project to improve a lot of 100 unknown lucky individuals all over the
world." They'll give me $1 million pounds if I'll go to this web address to verify: http://www.vidjin.com/318-million-lottery-winner-shaw-mcbride-gives-away-his-money-through-the-grace-of-god.html Wow. Grace of God? That's a new one.
- the BBC FINANCE DEPARTMENT at email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org) has £18,000,000.00 for me as a lottery promotion part of the 2012 Olympic Games. Gee! I wonder if it would cover tickets to the Games?
- an American soldier in Libya writes from email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org) that he and two buddies found $32million dollars hidden in "Muammar Ghadafi's secret house" and he wants to give me $7 million if I'll send him contact info. Hmm. Why would an American want to route money through Russian conduits?
- Mr.Zuman Balanji writes from email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org) "We have concluded to effect of your payment through western union $5,000. Daily
until the total sum of $9,500,000.00 is completely transfered. The Western
union Agent: is Mr.Yoyo Babayalian." Cool. Although, I don't remember sending anyone $5000. "But you will not be able to pick it due to that your transfer was stopped by
the I.M.F demanding tax clearance of $160usd please try as much as you can to
send to them their tax clearance fee in order to release your fund." Well, I guess I'm stuck. I don't have that much in the back. Might if I hadn't sent them five grand...
- another from Mr. Balanji. I guess they really need that $160.
- from email@example.com (return address: firstname.lastname@example.org) Mr.Roy Walker who says that in thanks for my help securing a new partner in South Africa, he has made a deposit of $500.000.00 (FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS) in addition to my lottery winnings of $5.5m now amounting to $6,000,000.00 (Six million United States Dollars) with the Mr.FrankHarrod. Of course I need to give Mr. Harrod my bank info to make the transfer...
- Well. email@example.com is James Roberts,Fund Manager/Account Officer to embattled Former President Of Egypt Hosni Mubarak, and he has $5 million that he needs help to get out of Egypt. He'll give me 40% to help him out. Sounds like a deal, eh?
- 3% loans from firstname.lastname@example.org (return address: email@example.com). I'm not sure how international loans work. Hmm.
- a second one from springer_efinance. In case I lost the first one.
- from Mr Van Hugo at firstname.lastname@example.org. Apparently I helped him out for something, and am due some compensation. But "Having reviewed all the obstacles and problems surrounding the transfer of
your compensation payment of US$2,500,000.00 and your inability to meet up
with some charges levied against you due to the past transfer options, I
have concluded an arrangement with the Board of Directors of Bank Of
Africa (BOA) to issue you an ATM CARD where your payment will be uploaded
and mailed to you through courier service." It appears that I took care of that, but now they need $255.99 to cover customs. So I need to contact email@example.com in Benin to make that arrangement. UPS is in Benin?
- Mr. Samuel Kofi at firstname.lastname@example.org, and he has $7,500,000.00 on the books at the bank he's manager of, that is in excess of their profit, and he wants to get it out of Ghana without a trace. And he'll give me 40% to help... what happens if we get caught, Samuel?
- a second one from Mr. Kofi. Someone stuttered.
- BBC FINANCE still has money for me. Would I please reply? I might, but it's the end of the month and I'm broke...
See how much money I could have if I just had some to send to all of these people?
And of course, a couple of emails a day from people who think I need to increase my 'size and longevity'... for an organ that I don't have. Guess I can just dump those in the trash...