Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Oh Sleeper, where art thou?
So this has pretty much become my sleep: I sleep for three or four hours, then I wake up and can't get back to sleep. I'm not quite among the living, but I'm not asleep either. Eventually I wake up a bit and can do stuff, but after a few hours, maybe three or four or five, I crash. Bang. I fell asleep sitting at the table at an event the other day- during court, including the hurrahs. I can fall asleep sitting here at the computer. I suddenly nod off in odd places (no, I am very careful to not be driving when this is happening). But not in my own bed, when I want to.
Obviously I have become a house cat.
Boring reading sometimes help, though it doesn't help with staying awake- just with drifting off. Sometimes I can put on my headphones and put in a tape and go to sleep (Sting's 'Soul Cages' seems to do the trick lately), but there's a click when the tape ends and sometimes that wakes me up.
I've tried staying up all night to try to 'reset'. Well, I fall over at about 6 pm, sleep for four hours, and then wake up in a daze, not sure where I am or when I am. A couple of weeks ago I woke up about 6, and couldn't figure out if it was am or pm. I had to bump the little day/time thing on the computer to find out. It's really disorienting.
I'm drinking very little caffeine these days, only Saturday and Sunday morning, so that isn't the problem. I'm not up watching violent or stimulating tv, because I don't watch tv.
I do have plenty to worry about though. Worried about David and Lydia with the the babies. Worried for Annie and her job situation. Worried about Stephen and school (or not) and his overall life frustrations. Worried about James and his job and finances and finishing school. Worried about Wanda's health. Worried about Fjorlief's health. Worried about my own health. Worried about politics and the economy...
My doctor's solution of course is sleeping pills, and the suggestion of a support group. Support for what? Is there a support group for worried grandmothers of children in foster care? Or for people who want to find funding for a loved one's schooling? Or for frustrated Democrats who don't see anything good at the end of this tunnel?
Disrupted sleep is a common hallmark of Fibromyalgia, so I'm trying to reassure myself that this is not uncommon, and that others have felt this way. Doesn't help me sleep though.
Camomile? No. And it tastes like weeds. Lavender? Nope- I'm allergic, and the headache and nausea is not likely to help. Valerian? Nope, not a good combo with my meds. Ball peen hammer? Hmmm... there's s a thought. Well, probably would give me a headache.
But talking about it makes me want to nap...