Thursday, June 9, 2011

Five Things in Two Hours!

1) I drove down to Goodwill on Grand, hoping to find a red cardigan (for church Sunday- if I have it, the weather will be nice. If I don't, it will rain, and rain on the Rose Festival will be My Fault and the torches and pitchforks will soon be coming down the street...) AND... found the cardigan I wanted ($7) AND... A PAIR OF BLACK AND WHITE SLINGBACKS!!!! Not necessarily classic 'spectators', but definitely in the ballpark, in fact probably better for the clothes I want to wear them with. After months, finally! And $7. Can't beat that with a stick!

2) On the way there- I was on MLK, heading south, and just before you get to the Morrison bridge, the left lane merges with the center, and the lane off of the bridge merges into where the left lane should have been. I was in the center lane already so I wouldn't have to change lanes. And suddenly, off of the bridge lane pops a bicycle, AND IT TURNS THE WRONG WAY! I hit the brakes and laid on the horn- girl on the bike looks about 20, wearing a very short dress, flip-flops, and no helmet, GETS OFF THE BIKE, PICKS IT UP, and then proceeds to dart back and forth between my lane and the left lane. She finally saw a break (I hope) in traffic and crossed the two right lanes and headed off to wherever she was going. In the meantime, I'd swallowed my gum.

3) Coming back- it's just after 4, it's hot, the rest of the ships came into town today, and the Rose Festival traffic is definitely kicking in. So I'm heading north on Grand, second lane from the right, and I remember all of the construction happening around Burnside/84/the Max lines. So I think I will change lanes to the right and take Hawthorne (well, Belmont, in the one-way grid) east and skip the traffic. I turn to look and find that no, there's a car right there in my blind spot. I speed up slightly and put on my blinker. Now, I must explain the nature of the other car. It is red. It is a convertible. Its top is down. At its highest point it is maybe waist high on me. And it is being driven by a guy in sunglasses with a comb-over that you could spot from Mars. He and The Donald clearly share hairdressers. At any rate, seeing my blinker gives him an idea! Suddenly he must pass me on the right! He zooms forward, and his hair goes WHOOF! as he passes me. (He needed sunscreen up there...) But perhaps because his car was so low and that he was too busy trying to get one car-length ahead of me in heavy traffic, he failed to see... the motorcycle cop ahead of me. Heh heh heh. Zippy heads east while Mr. Comb-over gets a talking to. :-D

4) Took Belmont to 20th, and headed north again. was waiting at a signal at... Burnside? Anyway, there was a gas station on the right. There was several cars in the queue at the red light, and there was a guy in a pickup trying to get out, so I left room so he could go out after the guy in front of me. But no good deed goes unpunished, right? An absolutely HUGE black Cadillac Escalade comes up behind him in the driveway. stops, and then pulls out and around (basically taking cuts in line) the pickup, pulls out in front of me, and then stops. Because he is making a left turn and the traffic on the other side is not clear. I laid on the horn for the second time of the day. The traffic ahead of me at the light has now gone, but the pickup and I are trapped by the idiot in the SUV. He finally sees a break and pulls through, and the pickup and I get to pull up to a new red light. :-P

5) On 33rd, just south of Alberta. Nearly home. A row of bicyclists is on my right, and I'm very aware of them. However, they earned the third horn blow by pulling up to the intersection, hitting the little 'WALK' button vigorously, and then TURNING LEFT IN FRONT OF ME! Idiots! Firstly, those signal things are not instantaneous- you have to wait for them to cycle through the signal. And second, bicyclists are not pedestrians! WTF!!! They want to use the bike lanes but then use the sidewalks and crosswalks when it suits them! ARGH!!!!

It may be just Stupid Bicyclist Day in Portland- a bike rear-ended the Mayor today, when he stopped (legally so) for a pedestrian. Maybe it's the weather. Anyway, I don't want it to look like I'm really dumping on bicyclists. In general I find Portland bicyclists to be decent, law-abiding, safe folks. I just found the idiots today I guess.

And that was my adventures today!


Sharon said...

I've also noticed that the sun brought out bad drivers.

Liutgard of Luxeuil said...

With comb-overs. ;-D