SURPRISE!

All right, I admit it. I have been bested! I have contended for some time that no one can pull a fast one on The Mom, and that I'm so sneaky that I can't be out-sneaked.

Unless, of course, there's a full-out conspiracy against me!

Long story made short- Annie came home for Christmas! She got a flight out to Seattle, visited friends there for a couple of days, took the bus to Eugene, saw her dad and sibs and Kelly and the rest of the gang, and then James picked her up on his way up. When I heard the doorbell, I thought he simply had his hands full. But when I opened the door, there was Annie!

Turns out James knew, Wanda knew, Ellen and Dan knew- practically everyone knew but me! (And, presumably, Alberto Gonzales.) ***AND I WILL GET YOU ALL!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!***

In other news, we got loot. Most of mine is orange. :-D Dan got lots and lots of chocolate, and my diet is, shall we say, kaput at the moment. We've got to eat all of this stuff up so I can start fresh. But there's still a bunch of cheesecake bites and most of a pan of fudge, and James made a huge bowl of chocolate mousse. I'm doomed.

I'm still sleeping a lot and I've not really felt better, but I'm seeing Dr Becher on Friday. Tomorrow James and I are going out to a concert at the Cathedral and then back here for some bubbly and dessert. Ah, life is hard. ;-)

...And now is my turn to plot...

Christmas, Hawaii-kine!

Numbah One day of Christmas, my tutu give to me

One mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Two day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Two coconut, an' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Tree day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Foah day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Five day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Five beeg fat peeg... foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Seex day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg (that make TEN!),
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Seven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Eight day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg (that make TWENNY!), foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Nine day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin',
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah let, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Ten day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Ten can of beer, nine pound of poi, eight ukuklele, seven shrimp a-swimmin'
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg,
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Eleven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eleven missionary, ten can of beer, nine pound of poi,
Eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

(Numbah Twelve day of Christmas the bes', and the bes' stuff always come las'...)

Numbah Twelve day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Twelve TELEVISION, eleven missionary, ten can of beer,
Nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin',
Seex hula lesson, FORTY steenkin' peeg,
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree!

************************************

MELE KALIKEMAKA!

(Happy Christmas, everyone!)

Getting ready for a holiday...

can be a bit of a tangle. Especially if you're a kitty!

(This is not one of our kitties- Shadow was the only one in the room when I had the lights out of the box, and he was observing from his 'God-kitty' perch on top of the arm chair. With his usual 'what-on-earth-are-you-DOING!?' look on his face...)

Did you know that Santa is a stalker? He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good...

So, what's news recently...

My replacement debit card finally arrived. Now I have to take it down to the bank to pick a PIN that I can actually remember. And maybe to look for that last couple of gifts. Dunno - I really am stumped for a couple of them.

Dan and Alanna will be here noonish Wednesday- I'm hoping that I'm actually sentient when they get here. (Past few days have been really slow.) That'll liven up the house a bit!

I got the body and sleeves cut out of a new houppelande for James. Also have to get the surcoat started, and then the sideless surcoat for Jill. She bought silk velvet instead of the cotton velvet/velveteen I suggested. There is a vast difference in difficulty in handling the silk velvet and I'm really dreading working on this. :-(

James will cruise on in Sunday evening. Alanna's parents will be in sometime too. The house will be full, and I think we will be drawing lots for showers! Sad part is that none of my kids will be here for Christmas. I'm feeling very empty-nesty.

However, sometime this week I plan to begin making Christmas junk food- rice crispie treats. fudge, cookies, etc. The trick will be in not eating them all myself!

Taking your life in your hands...

1.First, dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wetsuit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welder's gloves.

2.A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

3.Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed
bathtub area before hand. No, blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4.Draw the water, making it a little warmer than
needed as you still need to find the cat. Position
everything strategically in the shower, so you can
reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5.Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, the cat barely notices you anyway.

6.Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom, speed is essential. In one single liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.

7.As best you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to
field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

8.During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slides down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9.Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

10.Next, the cat must be dried. No, this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat, reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11.If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12.Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before
opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door, put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

13.In about 2 hours, it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog plotting revenge.

(Gleefully stolen from LynneK at Daily Kos)
**********

Not much in other news. I went to 11th Night Investiture in the Summits- attendance was good, and surprisingly quite a few people came down who I would have expected to be at 3M Yule. Anyway, Bera and I spent a good portion of the day looking for trouble to get into. (Fortunately for the autocrats, there was no whipped cream around!) Met a friend of hers, a Count named Duncan who is apparently working in the area at the moment. Lydia and I didn't stay for the feast- we picked up a pizza and went back to her place. I managed to slip the **** to David while she was changing her clothes. Heh.

Wanda and I got a Christmas tree after brunch on Sunday, and Monday I decorated it. Looks pretty spiffy. Tuesday I got the nutcrackers out and set them up. Maybe later today I'll get some other stuff done. I have the branches that we took off of the lower parts of the tree. I might wind them up with some rosemary if I can find my floral tape.

And if Wanda remembers to bring home the new Harry Potter DVD, I might get some sewing done while watching it. I have Jill's surcoat to do, and tomorrow I think I'll cut out James' houpp. Yup- no rest for the wicked...

Put that kid to work already!

Letting him lay around blowing spit bubbles means an eventual life on welfare, watching Maury Povich, eating cheetos out of the sack and washing them down with Bud Light, right?

(The look on the kid's face says it all...)

Oh man, what a week.

Zippy went off to get glow-plugs, which was Very Good, as she had flat out refused to start just before Thanksgiving. We got her back in time (barely) before Wanda went off to the Annual Training Conference.

I had another blood draw. Talked to Dr Becher's nurse this last Wednesday, and she says that I should hear from sometime Friday. Bleh. Irritating part about getting a blood draw is that they can't get it out of my arms anymore. Had to take it out of the back of my hand, which HURTS. I saw a nutritionist last Thursday (at Dr Becher's behest) to find out what I already knew. But I'm already cutting fat, pretty much cut red meat, and only eating chicken a couple of times a week. Not helping the cholesterol levels. Boo. And I saw Anna on Tuesday of this week, and we're adjusting the Lamictal up and the Lithium down. Yay. More med adjustments...

Four of us met up here at 11 last Saturday and drove out to the yearly openhouse sale at Pastiche. Morgan spent a small fortune. Cathy bought about a foot tall of books. Claire got a book or two. I got three cheap ones (two were Frankish books that Annie has that I wanted copies of my own, and the other was a paper copy of Bullfinches Mythology). We stopped on the way back into town so I could hit the bank, then we got pizza materials. Came back and decompressed awhile, made pizza, went upstairs and puttered (Morgan got her cloak completely finished, Cathy did a bunch of reading and note-taking on 12th c German clothes, Claire scribbled notes for this weeks' lesson plans, as she just landed a short gig filling in someone's maternity leave). Watched the first two tapes of Charlemagne. Cathy and Morgan went home and Claire and I talked till about 4:30am. We crashed and then went to Cameo for breakfast. Both exhausted, and had a great time. Of course I slept most of Sunday and Monday...

The storm came in Saturday (we drove in a mix of snow and rain on our way to Pastiche and back) and made a heck of a racket Sunday and Monday. Rain rain rain rain rain. Flooding all over Oregon and Washington- they've had to close down a huge section of I-5, and they're detouring traffic between here and Portland out to hwy 14, up 97, and over on I-90. Heck of a detour! The Oregon Coast is a mess- large sections are cut off from inland by mudslides and down trees. And speaking of down trees, Robert and Ilonka lost their van to a tree. No people hurt, just metal.

I finished Ned's dress, just have to press it. Looks really sharp- brown wool with yoke and cuffs of copper taffeta. Very nice.

Thursday really sucked. I went out to run errands, and when picking up a present for Stephen, my debit card was denied. They ran it as a credit. Still denied. Fortunately I had just enough cash to pay for it and leave, and then I went straight to my bank. My account had been frozen. We waited *2 HOURS* on hold, as the lines to Corporate in Seattle are all messed up due to the flooding, etc. Finally got through to the Fraud Prevention guy who says that sometime Monday, someone who had my card number and PIN attempted through an ATM to pull over $500 out of my account. The machine refused and froze my account. (Sure wish they'd called me!) So we got cash and check transactions un-froze, and I will be getting a new card in the next week or two.

So the whole time I kept telling myself that it would be ok, that we'd straighten things out, and then that I wasn't actually out any money- just inconvenienced. So why am I so friggin' angry about it? I have to admit that I'd like to find whoever tried to empty my account and punch them in the face. And while I sometimes get angry, this is a lot more than usual. And the deep breathing isn't helping. I really need a neck and shoulder massage but my favorite masseur is not here. :-(

So by the time I finally got out of the bank, it was too late to go to the grocery store- I had to run home, grab something quick to eat, and run back out to make it to the Laurel meeting on time. (Wanda was not home yet- she got out of work at 7:10) I was the only one there who wasn't from Stromgard (it was held at their Baroness' house). This was the meeting before 12th Night. You'd think more people would have showed up.

Went to Safeway on my way home, and the checker acted like he'd never seen a paper check before. <>

I really want to get a tub of rice pudding and eat the whole thing, but I can't do it, thanks to my cholesterol levels. That sucks.

Tonight (Thursday) is Movie Night, and I hope to have some takers. Would be nice to have an excuse to have a little teeny bit of ice cream.

And now, I think I'll take more ibuprofen and go back to bed. :-P