@#$%^@$***&#!!

There are times in life when a lot is happening at once. And there are times when you have to wait.

This is both of those times.

Ok. So I am waiting to see the pulmonary clinic. This happens September 3rd. At 4 in the afternoon. Which tells me that they will not be doing any procedures that day, but just a consult and scheduling me for something else. And more waiting.

But it's not like I don't have anything to do to keep busy, because I do. This weekend is Sport of Kings. It starts Thursday. Today is Monday. I have shopping to do, a menu to plan, goodies to make (for the Laurel meeting), have to fix the hinges on the bed, the lid of the new box, paint the light fixture and get chains to hang it with... and pack. And go to the event. And run a meeting. And throw a feast. And visit with friends.

Next week there's the full press to get things done for Randal. I'm making his surcoat for the ceremony. I also need to scrounge through my stuff and find linen for his vigil robes. And I need to wash and press the linens for the bath, and scrub the tourney tub. Find all of the papers, pull out the pre-dieu, get the candles and statuary ready. And I need to plan a menu for 12 for the weekend, do all of the shopping, etc.

In the meantime, there's the whole thing with the health care debate. I've written the Senators/Rep/President 3 times in 2 weeks. I'm sure they're tired of hearing from me (or at least whoever reads the mail). And I'm watching everything like a hawk, because the Public Option is probably the only chance that I'll have in the forseeable future to get off of Medicaid. I'm not insurable- I have too many pre-existing conditions. And I'm on too many drugs. And for now, I'm broke. But the fact is, without the Public Option, I can't change my financial situation, because I'll lose my healthcare. And that could be catastrophic. The healthcare situation as is is forcing me to remain poverty-striken. This system is sick.

I have decided that I cannot read Huffington Post anymore. It's way too histrionic, tabloid-like (makes dKos look like the Wall Street Journal), and the comments are so full of trolls the bile leaks out through my screen. I get so angry and there's nothing to do with it- I can't hit the poor idiot on the screen. So I think I will just leave them alone. Let someone else tell them what idiots they are. HuffPo will survive without me.

And I'm eating a lot less all of the sudden. Not sure what to think about it. Lost a couple of pounds though, according to the dr's charts. Not bad. Also been writing- I think I may have found my way through the whole thing with Henry being sick. Worth a shot.

And Bill finished my ring! It is flat out GORGEOUS. The stone is from a pendant that I had that had been my great-grandma's. Lovely, square-cut white stone- Bill said he thinks it's a white sapphire. Set it in silver, with a basic copy of a 7th c Frankish design. :-) It's big, and kinda gaudy, but I love it. And if I ever have to punch someone, they're gonna regret it. :-D

Not... to... Panic...

I called in and someone else had just made a cancellation, so I was able to get in today instead of next Thursday.

Well, I just got back from the doctor, and we discussed the report from the angiogram. They said that they saw a nodule on my lung, and two cysts on my liver. I'm scheduled to be in the Pulmonary clinic at 4 on Sept 3. (I won't be able to make the SLUG Queen Coronation this year because of it, and that really makes me mad.) They want to do a PET scan and/or a bronchioscopy. The latter sounds like a lot of Not Fun. And then we will go from there.

We still don't know what happened last week. I'm continuing to push the matter because that was an incredible amount of pain and I don't want it to happen again. So we will see.

And it appears that I have traded the anxiety of Not Knowing for a different kind of Not Knowing. It is no improvement.

Just another thing to worry about...

Ok, I'm not about to be eaten by a robot. That I know of. At the moment.

Well, we have as yet not figured out what happened to me last Monday. But they sent me in for a angiogram on Friday, which was very interesting. All the equipment, and of course you have no idea what it is actually doing. It's magic, as far as I'm concerned. And there's times that I think if I opened that door that says 'Authorized Personnel Only', I'd find a witch doctor in there, counting the twists in the entrails of a sheep...

At any rate, I got a call from my doctor's office today. They want me to come in and discuss the results of the angiogram. Which now has me in knots. It if was nonremarkable, they wouldn't bother. It's not an emergency, since they made me an appointment for next Thursday. But still, important enough that they want to talk to me about it.

On the day that I'm packing out for Sport of Kings. * sigh *

Nothing else much to report. Still sleeping a lot. Trying to get things together for Sport of Kings and Crown, including everything for Team Randal. It's not like I'm not trying to keep busy.

So what happens when a giant robot eats you, anyway?

Got to go for a ride

...In the truck with the flashy lights. It's not nearly as exciting as you'd think, because when you're that sick, you really don't care.

I'd started with a sharp pain in the upper left of my back about midnight. It got worse, and then wrapped around my ribs and into my chest. Couldn't sleep, was very painful to breathe. About 6:30 I called the advice nurse at my dr. She said "Please hang up and call 911." Wow, you sure? She was sure.

So I got a ride to the hospital. By the time I got there I could hardly see from the pain. When they rolled me off of the ambulance gurney onto the bed in ER I was screaming. And you know how when you're in Er getting stitches or whatever, and there's always someone down the hallway, howling? That was me. Especially when they were doing xrays. Moving- especially anything involving moving my ribcage- I kept hearing someone how sounded like a wounded dog. .And realized that was me. It was really weird.

After the xrays they shot me full of morphine. I was still in a lot of pain, but it was no longer the center of the universe. And they never did find out the source of the pain, but they did find a spot of pleural effusion that was apparently secondary to whatever was going on. So they sent me home with a Rx for vicodin and instructions to breath deeply (to clear up the effusion). Mostly I've been sleeping.

So that's what I've been up to the past few days. This kind of excitement I could do without.

This week's forecast:

I hate hot weather. It's 12:30 in the afternoon, and already 88. Supposed to be around 100 today and tomorrow, and up to 105 on Weds. I think there will be a movie theater somewhere in my future. (Hello, Mr Potter!)

Not much happening, trying to not melt is my main plan these days. James was up for part of the weekend- he had a meeting Saturday. We set fire to the backyard (well, a grill-sized part of it), showed a picture of the fire to some cows, and ate them. They were mighty tasty.

In teh sewing room, I need to finish Korwyn's tunics, and then get my Queen Carmen dress done. Also will be working on Randall's stuff, fortunately that is kind of spread out amongst several people and I don't have to do it all.

And ice cream is still a Very Good Thing!

Polka dots!

The polka-dot dress was a hit! Got lots of laughs and lots of compliments. And I found that I could actually work in the kitchen in it- I just tucked the sleeves into my belt to keep them out of the way.

The only big problem at Coronation was that it was so bloody hot. Mid- to upper-90s. My camp was back under the trees, but down on the field it was unbearable. I have no idea how the fighters manage it. TRMs moved court in under the trees, near the permanent pavilion, much to everyone's relief. I was only there for part of court- for Randal to be put on vigil. After that I went back to camp to deal with the chicken. Dinner turned out wonderfully, and the little dinner party was quite nice (even if I did accidentally call Countess Morag Countess Morwyn).

The switch to the gabapentin seems to be going well. Feeling better (well, except for the current lassitude from the heat) and not twitching so much. This is a serious improvement. And I get to see the new mental health person at my regular clinic, instead of heading down to see someone I don't trust. Definitely an improvement!

I put some of the hinges on wrong on the bed parts. Waiting for the weather to cool so I can try to fix it.

Starting to plan for Sport of Kings, and for September Crown. I'll be doing a Vigil Bath for Randal, and that will require a fair amount of planning.

Ice cream is a Good Thing.

And then the Dementors come...

I read an interview once, with Joanne Rowling (she wrote the Harry Potter series), where she described the Dementors as sort of being a metaphor for depression and the havoc it wreaks on one's life. Well, she got that one right, I think.

Been a rough couple of weeks, dealing with both physical and mental issues. Saw the gal at Lifeworks- she was no help at all, was sort of 'well, what am I supposed to do about it?', which was irritating, as she is supposedly the professional. I left just as down as I'd arrived. And I had no cash on me so I couldn't stop for a milkshake. :-(

However, I saw Dr Becher this Weds, and things may be looking up. The levo-dopa is not doing it's job well enough, and the side effects- especially the somnolence and exacerbation of the depression, as well as the nausea- are a Problem. So we are adding in gabapentin (which I've had before and can tolerate) and gradually phasing out the levo-dopa. So far so good- The gabapentin takes a little getting used to- I was going to go to a rally downtown, but this morning, after a dose at bedtime, I am certain that I couldn't pass a roadside drunk test. I was having trouble staggering to the bathroom. It seems to dissipate in the late afternoon, so I can get out and go to the grocery, but mornings seem to be out for me until I get used to it. But I was feeling well enough to get upstairs and work for a bit last night, so I think I'm making progress.

Speaking of progress, I got the dots on my dress heat-set, and did up the side seams. Last light I got the seam in the maunch sleeve finished- did a false French seam. Have the other sleeve to do and the I get to put the pacing stuff on the side openings. After that it's just a hem to do. I also have the work to do on the bed- I got the moulding glued on the other day, still need to put a few nails into it, and then paint it and put on the hinges. Need to get the painting done this weekend, if it is to be dry enough to put the hinges on.

And I need to run by Burgerville- the new raspberry shakes are out!